No, no, no. It wouldn’t be prudent for me to breed either. But I still do, on occasion, have to buy for the odd niece, nephew, godchild or brother (as in oopsie,-I’ve-had-a-baby-at-61-with-my-hot-young-wife brother). So, if you’re like me and do not relish the thought of browsing baby shops on Saturday afternoons, head over to the newly launched Felix and Lily’s online.

You can shop at midnight with a glass of wine in one hand and a fag in the other…from the comfort of your own home where you do not have to worry, as of yet, that someone will fine you £50 for lighting up (I swear, it’s not tobacco, officer). My mate ex girl band member Vonda and partner ex model Emma own the bricks and mortar shop in Islington, and would that all pop stars and models knew the business like these girls. I’m writing this because I really admire them for starting this business. They really care about their customers and about the quality of the products that they sell. And the rug rats like it too. The pull toy bought for aforementioned 1 year old brother-in-law Davey is so well liked, that we had to get him another one. It seems he won’t give it up for the wash, so his mum has to have the other one as a decoy. Anyway, that’s enough about babies. I’ve extended my quota for the week.