Drunk and sleepy on the Buses
How did this happen, well quite obvious really, I got on and fell asleep.
Now most people who live in London will know that a London night can be particularly chilly at the best of times so the comfort and the warmth of a bus came as a huge relief and surprise when I first awoke from my slumber. The emptiness of the bus was also appealing to my inebriated self, so instead of getting off and hailing the nearest black cab and going home as any sober person would have done, I simply went back to my ZZZs.
Now buses do come to the end of their line eventually so when I was turfed off I can recall simply hoping on the next one that came along, oyster card in hand and finding a new corner to snooze in. Where the bus was going or where I picked it up from I do not recall or indeed do I care, but the warmth and cosiness of that seat once more led to me having a good hours snooze or so.
Soon after I was given orders by the driver to leave my seat with a depot fast approaching and once more a new bus was quickly located. Tactics began to be formed, as I headed back towards central London from where I think was the Finchely area.
I managed to time my journey on the final bus of the night as it arrived in Trafalgar Square at 5.30am and as the pigeons looked on in slight confusion and suspicion of this man still wearing a tuxedo from the night before I hopped on my first train back to my non moving home. Just in time for a few more hours sleep before jaunting back in to work as fresh as a daisy (that might be a slight fib).
So the next time you find yourself stranded with the final tube gone and no money for a cab, look for the nearest double-decker and get yourself the comfortable cheap alternative to a dodgy B&B.
This may shine a certain light on my person, as someone who A. enjoys a good hearty drink and B. doesn’t really care about what other people think.
Indeed I may easily offend or disgust you with the above revelations, but I say there are loads more people like me out there in the city and aren’t we the most interesting…I’ll let you decide that!