I was coming on the tube home tonight (well the bus and the two tubes, working in Staines sucks), reading the London Paper as usual. I have for the last week or so tried to delude myself that there is NO finacial crisis and everything is NOT going to get more expensive by reading various books on the way to work; however having stayed at the Boys house I was today without any books and therefore having to deal with reality.

Why is it that whoever writes in to do the columns, no matter who they are, they are griping? About the tourists, the grumpy barmaids and the cyclists… The men who WILL stand up for women and the whatever else it is happens to piss them off. I just think its kind of weird that if you have only 400 words to represent your point of veiw that you would spend it griping. Theres so much nice things going on.

For example there is the Optimists Society. these guys are a bit kinda freaky - I discovered them at a Pirate Party, where they gave me a card and told me that they’d spent the majority of the Day on Southbank in Pants and Babygrows - this is before becoming pirates. They also charged people cash to have their piccies done with the panted people and gave all the money to Charity!!! On further investigation I found that these guys do regular events promoting a “glass is fuller” attitude - I’d love to tell you more but the Dude never replied to my email, however you can find the facebook here

OOOH And the Pirate people are having another Party by the way - but more of that another soon…

An easy one to start with…..

mystery symbols

I’ve been working in Soho for many years, and have always wondered about the weird little symbols that one sees carved into kerbstones.

What are they for? How old are they? Are they cut into the stones before or after the kerb is laid? Maybe some of London’s kerbs are cut from ancient Celtic megaliths?

What does a triangle mean? A cross? An X with dots? A little arrow?

I always thought they were only to be found in central London - but I saw some in Twickenham (well St Margarets) the other day.

The thing is - I’m not sure if I want anyone to tell me what they are for. It’s bound to be something really boring. For surveyors? Something to do with quarrying? Highway maintenance schedules? I prefer to think that they are some kind of masonic language. Maybe something to do with ley lines. I’ll ask Julian Cope.

Oooh Ooooh! Pirate Party Alert!

Of all my favourite things to do, dressing up as a pirate has to be to be top on my favourites list. Pirates are simply the best, striped tights and pantaloons or wench blouses with buckled boots you cannot fail to look super cool and dangerous when you are a pirate.

Even better is doing so whilst having access to a boat - and best has to be while you are partying on a boat, no? You cannot imaging my joy when I learnt that Bring Stuff are having a Pirate Party on a PUB BOAT!

The best thing about this is that it’s free (before 10pm)… OK the second best thing. The best thing has to be the fact that you get to be a part of the Biggest Bestest Pirate take-over on the River Thames this (pitiful) summer!

Bring Pirates is being held on the Tattershall Castle on the 20th September. Full details can be found on the Bring Stuff Website, or the Facebook event page. There’s going to be games like Yarr’ing at the police boats and prizes for Best Pirate and Best Pirate Jig - you know what you are even encouraged to be rude and piratey!! this is my kind of party!

If you needed anymore reasons to be there, I’d tell you to take a look at last years photos. But I think we all know this is not an event to be missed - I’ll see you all there me Heartys!!

Stoke Newington is CRAWLING with police this morning. You’ve never seen so many police. All over the frigging place.

“What are they doing?”, you ask. Busting a major crack ring? On the trail of a terrorist cell?

Nope.

Catching cyclists.

Yep - you heard me right. They have Stokey on lock-down so that they can bust people for riding down alleys without dismounting, running red lights, etc.

OK - bad cycling annoys me as much as the next person. I can’t stand the little toads that ride at speed down the pavement - I just shout at them: “are you too frightened to ride on the road?” And running a red light when there are pedestrians around is a no-no for me too.

But seriously - a police crackdown, utilising this many officers to catch a few mildly anti-social cyclists is just absurd. Is this what I pay them for?

A friend of mine was fined £30 by a copper the other day. The crime: going across the pavement with his bike in order to lock it to a railing. He freewheeled the bike, standing on the pedal, like you do. Result a £30 fine. Frigging ridiculous.

So - the question is: now that cycling has begun to really take off as a form of green, healthy transport for Londoners (post-Olympic effect too), who has ordered the police to crack down on cyclists in this absurd manner?

Hey police cadets - looking forward to a glorious career of hassling cyclists?

Those of you who are aware of Twitter may be amused to hear that Tower Bridge is now at it. What a happy, eventful and productive life the old girl seems to be leading. Hurrah for Tower Bridge, and her endless opening and closing!

If you feel tempted to become a follower of Tower Bridge (and, let’s face it, who could resist?), here’s a link

Always a beautiful station, Southgate has surpassed itself since its recent renovation and restoration. If any tube stop deserved a visit on it’s own credentials its this one.

A Beautiful example of Art-Deco Design, the surrounding shopping arcade and one-way flatter the lovely Island station in the middle!

Learn to make the big bucks!

Ok i admit it I have a gambling problem…the problem is that I love it way too much. My poison is No-Limit Texas Hold’em poker, and everything about it. For example it is 12.34am and i am writing this post while playing online and watching a tournament on the telly. You catch my drift?

Well I am very excited that this Friday evening and Saturday daytime London is holding a Poker festival with a difference. And most importantly it is free to go along to!

Poker in the Park is taking place in Leicester Square in the small park area right in the middle of the square. It will have all kinds of top pros giving great advice and you can buy merchandise and helpful books etc.

One of the pros is fellow Englishman Dave “Devilfish” Ulliott…what a legend this guy is check him out here.

If you are interested in getting into the game then I reckon it would be a great place to go along and mix with other amateurs. There are even free tournaments to enter which you can win prizes.

Now being a lucky devil I will be living it up on the balcony of the Empire casino flashing my press pass and having some free booze with some showgirls (apparently) so there is even the chance to catch a peek at my ugly mug..if you’re lucky. (I am the one with the haircut similar to that of a German dictator)

These kind of free events are often round London but you never find out about them until it is too late. So I am spreading the word.

So come and become an addict like me….well no, don’t do that, but do come and have a great time with loads of fellow Londoners…and the odd hundred tourists.

OK, so, not quite looking DOWN on St Paul’s - more like across…

This is one of a series of pics I took from the top of this building:

… while working there a while back.

Fun fact: there’s a helicopter pad on the roof! (No, silly - not St Paul’s, the office block.)

And round, in the other direction, we have Old Father Thames, Parliament and the ubiquitous London Eye:

As always, click pix to enbiggify (lots of interesting detail).